There is Hope

If you gave me the task of counting the times I was wrong I would fail. There's a reason why I was wrong. God had something better planned for me. I've been through some rough patches through going back more than a decade. My decisions have been to blame for some, others I cannot say the same for. Because of that I see this blog and the where I wrote this to be only from holy design.

I expected all the wrong things. Attending a university full of my peers needing to hear the gospel. I had a heart for them and pursuing theirs. That came at a price. As the school year went by my expectations and will grew tired of what I had witnessed and experienced. The students who I invested in became less involved and unappreciative of my time and efforts. Their respect for me did not exist. I spoke about how not to give up even when you're put down and spat on. It took me far too long to realize that I was giving up myself. It has been hard to see past the fog of suffering and pain in my heart. I took out my frustrations on God. After a considerable amount of time I stopped to cry. I had enough of the hurt. I imagined God's response. "How dare you speak to me like that!" "Grow up!" "Are you blind?" No no no...His response stirs me up to this day.

"I know your pain."

His hand fell on me the same way it did when I suffered the loss of my mother. In that moment I attempted to imagine the pain of His Son, the pain of turning away from Him so He would never have to do that to us.

As I continued serving at my school I saw students give their lives to love and believe in God. I had students thank me for helping guide them in their walk. I even had students who haven't thanked me. Those select students have shown incredible and remarkable change. I am proud of them as God is of me for not giving up.

My very nature blinded me from what I now see. I believe in what a large portion of the world finds wrong. I was the a part of the world, now I am apart from the world. I live among those who don't have the eternal gift that I do. My ambition is not give it to them but to lead towards the God that can. It has not been easy and will not cease to be, but He knows your pain.

What does that mean? It means that He has suffered as man has. He has put Himself in our shoes to understand your pain and be able to lift you up. "He who avenges blood remembers, He does not ignore the cry of the afflicted" -Psalm 9:12

So as I said before, I have been wrong countless times. What was the consequence of being wrong? Rejoicing in being proved wrong with what is right! And what is right is that there IS hope, hope in the fruit we produce, and the hope in the God who comforts, seeks after, fights for, loves, and saves. I found hope in the students and I have had my eyes open to what my fruits have done. I only have God to thank for believing in me so I can believe in Him.