A Love Story

Once upon a time I met a girl. Yes, a girl. She was the most beautiful girl in the world. There was no one like her. She made me feel loved and like I belong. She took care of me when I was sick. She fed me when I was hungry. She gave me a shoulder to cry on. She even sang for me with her gifted and wonderful voice. But the best gift she gave me was the invitation from Jesus to become saved.

A grew up with her and we became the best of friends. We had everything in common. I told all of my other friends about how awesome she was. Nothing could separate us, at least I thought so. My dad divorced his wife before I even got to middle school. I eventually lived with my dad while my best friend moved far away. She got into a relationship with guy I knew back where we used to live. We stayed in touch but as they years went by it was hard on both of us. I missed her so much. She went through some difficult times when she found out he was cheating on her. I traveled the distance to visit and comfort her. I tried to make her feel loved and provided her with a shoulder to cry as she once did for me. I felt her pain.

She got better and into another relationship. They did well for a short period of time but eventually it went downhill. Our friendship became worse as well. I think her struggles kept us from growing stronger but I did not make things easier. Being so far apart did not help. Unfortunately the decisions that we both made have changed our lives completely.

I said some harsh words to her over the phone one day. The next day she calls back and I decide not to answer. I get a call from her father the next day. That phone call ended up being the worst phone call I've ever received.

"Daniel, I need you to sit down." says her father. "Your mother..."

And at that moment I knew "...hung herself, I'm sorry..." My heart torn in two. My best friend gone forever.

Yes, the beautiful girl and best friend that I met so long ago was my mother. I don't blame myself for the events that took place anymore. There are times, however, that I wish I'd shown her how important she was to me.

Why am I sharing this? Because I love her, I miss her, and because I have a special message for you. You heard our story along with all the negative series of events. She was a strong and selfless woman through it all. There's nothing I wouldn't do to go back and tell her that. What she did not at all reflect or define who she was. The number of people who read this post isn't close to a drop in the bucket of people she's invested and loved during her lifetime.

She loved me with all of her heart. She loved me so much that she introduced me to Jesus. There was nothing I could or can provide to illustrate just how much she means to me and how much she's done for me.

In honor of Mother's day I want you do do something that I wish I could do for my mom today. Give her the biggest genuine hug and tell her you love her with all your heart. She's loved and nurtured you since you were born because you were the most important thing in her life. Show her how important she is to you.

 This clip was my last Mother's Day with her.

She played tackle football (yes, tackle) for the Palm Beach Punishers because she was a BOSS. She was where I got my competitive gene. We'd play football, Wii Sports, and even ping pong like our lives were on the line. She wanted to wear the number I did in high school to have an excuse to change the conversation to talking about how proud she was of me.

She was a huge Bucs fan because of me. Even when times were tough financially she scrapped up what she could to take me to the games when I came down to visit. 

I'm glad she was able to make it to my high school graduation. A moment I'll never forget.

This is my favorite picture of us. This picture reminds me of how powerful her love for me was. I couldn't ask for a better friend and mother.

Happy Mother's Day!

There is Hope

If you gave me the task of counting the times I was wrong I would fail. There's a reason why I was wrong. God had something better planned for me. I've been through some rough patches through going back more than a decade. My decisions have been to blame for some, others I cannot say the same for. Because of that I see this blog and the where I wrote this to be only from holy design.

I expected all the wrong things. Attending a university full of my peers needing to hear the gospel. I had a heart for them and pursuing theirs. That came at a price. As the school year went by my expectations and will grew tired of what I had witnessed and experienced. The students who I invested in became less involved and unappreciative of my time and efforts. Their respect for me did not exist. I spoke about how not to give up even when you're put down and spat on. It took me far too long to realize that I was giving up myself. It has been hard to see past the fog of suffering and pain in my heart. I took out my frustrations on God. After a considerable amount of time I stopped to cry. I had enough of the hurt. I imagined God's response. "How dare you speak to me like that!" "Grow up!" "Are you blind?" No no no...His response stirs me up to this day.

"I know your pain."

His hand fell on me the same way it did when I suffered the loss of my mother. In that moment I attempted to imagine the pain of His Son, the pain of turning away from Him so He would never have to do that to us.

As I continued serving at my school I saw students give their lives to love and believe in God. I had students thank me for helping guide them in their walk. I even had students who haven't thanked me. Those select students have shown incredible and remarkable change. I am proud of them as God is of me for not giving up.

My very nature blinded me from what I now see. I believe in what a large portion of the world finds wrong. I was the a part of the world, now I am apart from the world. I live among those who don't have the eternal gift that I do. My ambition is not give it to them but to lead towards the God that can. It has not been easy and will not cease to be, but He knows your pain.

What does that mean? It means that He has suffered as man has. He has put Himself in our shoes to understand your pain and be able to lift you up. "He who avenges blood remembers, He does not ignore the cry of the afflicted" -Psalm 9:12

So as I said before, I have been wrong countless times. What was the consequence of being wrong? Rejoicing in being proved wrong with what is right! And what is right is that there IS hope, hope in the fruit we produce, and the hope in the God who comforts, seeks after, fights for, loves, and saves. I found hope in the students and I have had my eyes open to what my fruits have done. I only have God to thank for believing in me so I can believe in Him.